Life has taught me lots and a lot i’ve learnt @ the expense of others…( well learnt from their experiences is what I mean..)
So I’m sharing the 3 rules of 3 that I think help make sensible decisions in the matters of the heart…( Va thanks for reinforcing my belief in them and reminding me they exist..)
1. Rule of 3 after a Break Up….
It’s very important that we give ourselves 3 months to heal after a split and get over somebody we were dating for more than 3 months atleast….This helps us clear ourselves out of negative feelings about ourselves, the person we split with and of course ensures we don’t get into a rebound cycle with the next person..coz thats not fair to anybody..
This is a very difficult rule to follow but It’s essential and friends and family should be roped in to ensure your social life is active enough so that you may set on recovery path ASAP…
2.Rule of 3 for Dating/Relationships…
Have you ever come across somebody who seems perfect..like your soul mate ? Like they are made just for you ?
Word of caution…give it 3 !
3 months of time in a relationship is a must before you jump into something that will not build a base strong enough to hold things in place….
Whether you meet thru friends or family or by chance ! give it 3 !
You can say whatever your feeling to your partner…and I am sure you mean it too…you will discuss life, exes, work, future aspirations, holiday destinations, music, movies and even names of maybe future kids…
The Guy too will go all out and say a lot ! All with the best intentions….
Yet remember in 3 months if you both feel the same way or more for each other and about each other this is perfect , however that rarely is the case….
The first month is usually giddy romance…one person takes the lead and the other plays along…a lot is said…felt….lots of dinners and texts and messages are exchanged…..all is fun in love !
The next month is about one person waking up and snapping out of it…the first few fights and issues prop up….the player ( along) now wants to lead..life and work and pressures seep in…people have bad days and they begin to show….this is ABSOLUTELY HEALTHY and NORMAL….its a sign of balance returning to the relationship which may have been skewed…the key is to be communicative and try to work around finding the balance….
The Third month is about comfort….fights have been fought…the journey to understanding has been embarked on….there can be 2 outcomes –
1. Balance is struck…friends will be introduced…comfort defines this phase…you finally enter the persons life…things are looking good…this is NOT A FLING…its something with potential….if worked on…it can be the real thing…
2. Havoc…month 2 phase has ended with a bitter after taste….and then you know all that was said in month 1 was all gas …..and its time to move on….after discussing and evaluating things of course !
The 3 month rule can turn into a 4-5 months rule if the situation requires this….a person may be going through a bad phase or a good phase and hence it may require more time but minimum 3 months are needed before you make up your mind about anybody !
3. 3rd rule of 3 ! ( The Ring)
If you survive the 2nd Rule and are reaching a point where your sure of the girl being the one …then the Rule 3 of 3 will help….
So you want to propose and plan the perfect proposal and give the girl an evening/moment/day/weekend to remember and a ring to capture that moment forever…
How much is too much ?
Well simple rule followed around the world…and the one I have always helped my guy friends with is that the Ring….The value of THE RING should be more or less that of 3 months salary/savings …this ensures that it’s not too over the top…nor is it too little but is just right…some people extend it to 2 months or 4 months and it’s a personal choice but that’s the approx rule to follow just in case your stuck…
Also its always a good idea to take the girl’s closest friend along to get a sense of what she may be looking for….
I recently accompanied a friend’s fiancé on this mission and all I did was describe what i thought she would like and left the decision-making to him…. She loved what he picked and no credit goes to me coz it was all him but atleast I could push him in the right direction…
And those are the 3 rules of 3 that need to be followed in matters of the heart 🙂 to ensure sanity, peace and LOVE prevails 🙂 Links we can use : http://thesinglelife.net/archives/2010/05/26/the-3-month-rule